As featured on The Colbert Report: Library DENIES SEVEN YEAR OLD the right to use their library. Are you freaking KIDDING me??? As this article reports, the library has since reinstated Dominick’s ability to use the library through the end of the year. But after Dec. 31, 2009, they will spank him and take away his birthday. Honestly… I suppose I understand the need to relegate people to their own district’s library, but in this case, enforcement of the policy seems pretty disproportionately harsh.