Joel Tenenbaum Fights Back.

Hes apparently mad as hell. And hes not going to take it anymore.

He's apparently mad as hell. And he's not going to take it anymore.

JoelFightsBack.com tells the tale of Mr. Joel Tenenbaum who is taking on the recording industry. With everything he’s got and then some. Check him out. Just goes to show that if the recording industry pokes at enough people, eventually, it’s going to get poked back. I’ve long said that what major companies fail to understand is that if someone wants something badly enough, they’re going to get it. You can put all the DRM and anti-piracy encoding into the product as you want.  Sooner or later, someone who doesn’t have a lot of money but has a lot of time will figure out how to outsmart your system. It’s the glory of capitalism. And, perhaps more importantly the circumnavigation of  it. As Joel’s brother, Mark, writes on Joel’s blog,

“Gene Simmons of KISS was on a show mentioning how rock and roll has gone down the tubes because of the internet and the music sharing that goes on. Well blame the music industry. Blame the recording companies who charge $30 for a cd and give the artists $2 of it. Joel, you have my support, and the legal team, you definitely have mine as well.”

You have mine as well, Joel.

If I could parallel park like this…

RC Car aficionado Masami Hirosaka does more with this little car in one minute than I’ll hope to do with a real one in my entire lifetime. Notice he doesn’t use the wall as leverage, either (from Gizmodo).

Don’t Pay Attention to These Twelve Rules of “Flirtexting”. Ever.

I HATE Glamour. And Cosmo. And every other lame-ass “women’s” magazine. However, in Yahoo’s understandable quest to direct people to their content, they will run a drivel-filled “headline” piece regularly. Found one I couldn’t pass up tonight:

DATING TIPS
Glamour
Dating 101: The Do’s and Don’ts of Text-Message Flirting By Glamour. Texting is the new calling, which means there’s a whole new battleground for romance — and a new set of rules to play by. Start your flirty texting education here, with advice from Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz, authors of “Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way to His Heart.”

Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVES me some texting. I definitely use my phone to text quite a lot. However…in true vapid Glamour form (Glapid? Vapour? No no, that last one doesn’t work…), they’ve managed to take something as technologically fabulous as texting and turn it into an exercise of horribly sexist banality. Please allow me to walk us through this…

#1: DO say the words text me when you give out your number to a new guy. Giving a new guy your number and telling him to call can be iffy. Start with a text.
Wow, really? See there are these things, they’re called phones…they allow you to SPEAK to one another. And there is this really cool thing that happens  when someone has the number that is assigned to that phone: they can CALL IT. I think it’s relatively fair to assume that if you’re giving someone your number, they just might call you. And if that’s “iffy”, then you’re fucking retarded. You know what’s a lot more dangerous than telling someone to call you after you just gave them your number? Taking one iota of advice published in Glamour magazine. Fuck you, Glamour, for actively dumbing-down your readership.
#2: DON’T just text “Hi.” Even if the only reason you’re texting him is because you’re thinking about him, this kind of short and shy flirtexting typically leads nowhere.
Unless you don’t have anything else to say but “Hi.” Texting someone “Hi” leads to them knowing you’re saying, “Hi,” and then maybe them texting back. Kind of like a dominoes thing. *shrug* Imagine a 2 character text…go on, imagine it. Why doesn’t Glamour tell you exactly what you should say? “I want to be filled with your love and have your children.” Clearly, this is the kind of sentence that leads to the nightmare that Glamour is all about. Fuck you, Glamour, for being in bed with cell phone companies who charge per text.
#3: DO text him back within 24 hours. Anything beyond that reads “I’m just not that into you — or your texts.”
Or you dropped your phone in the toilet. Or you like playing games (like this one), and you just happen to play by a different set of rules than other women play by (which is pretty much each individual woman’s individual set of her OWN rules). Fuck you, Glamour, for inventing pointless rules that have no bearing on anything. Ever. Except a good blog.
#4: DON’T purposely send him a “mis-text.” Women tend to use this move as a way to make single men jealous. But he’ll see right through your needy outreach and move his texts on to the next.
See above game-playing Cunt’s Guidebook to Game-Playing. I think you should fully be “allowed” to send a “mis-text”. Or I would. If I knew what constituted a “mis-text”. If we’re saying don’t send something you don’t mean, then reading this little gem in a magazine isn’t going to change your manipulative passive-aggressive behavioral pattern. So rules 1-3 and 5-12, be conniving and manipulative. But for #4, you get a pass. Fuck you, Glamour, for making this shit up.
#5: DO ask him out over text. If you like him, gauge his interest by sending a light-date invite without hesitation. Try: “Don’t know about you, but I predict I’ll be starving after work Thursday. Dinner?”
What if I’m looking for a “heavy-date” invite? Have enough self-confidence to ask someone out if you like them, and be willing to accept that they may not like you. Yeah, self-confidence…novel, that. Fuck you, Glamour, for assuming I’ll be starving after work on Thursday.

Aziz, I think I love you.

I have been ranting about this ever since the “IMAX experience” began to be popularly advertised in recent years. They ARE lying!!!! From Aziz’s blog:

“…Basically IMAX is whoring out their brand name and trying to trick people. These new “IMAX” theatres are really just nice digital screens with good sound, but they ARE NOT IMAX, in that they don’t have the huge 72 ft gigantic screen which people would expect. However, they still charge $5 more for tickets as they would for the regular IMAX.

REGAL, AMC, AND IMAX – YOU ARE LIARS!

Boycott them. Fuck them for taking advantage of people and charging them $5 extra. If you’re in LA, go to the Arclight from now on, and fuck the IMAX screens (fake and real).

Some people at Regal and AMC both wanted to call these screens IMAX Digital so as to differentiate it somehow from the giant IMAX screens people are used to associating with the name IMAX. Apparently IMAX doesn’t see anything wrong with duping customers like this and insisted on simply keeping it as IMAX. Well, I have a better term how about – “BULLSHIT IMAX.” Cause that’s what it is.

According to this piece, IMAX CEO, Richard Gelfond said the company only puts IMAX digital systems into multiplex auditoriums that meet certain criteria. He jokingly said, “It’s a very scientific test. It’s called the ‘wow’ factor. So if you don’t go in and go ‘wow,’ we won’t do it.” HAHAHA! REALLY FUNNY RICHARD!!!! What happens if I go in the theatre and go “This isn’t a fucking IMAX screen, I just got ripped off for $5!!” Do I get my money back?”

He is SO RIGHT. It’s NOT a REAL IMAX unless you’re in a DOMED auditorium, like the one at the Hutchinson Cosmosphere:

A domed OMNIMAX

A domed OMNIMAX

and a handful of other locations peppered throughout the US.

Accept no substitutes. Aziz, I share your contempt and you are my latest hero.

Laser-etched Fingernails

Laser-etched fingernails

Laser-etched fingernails

…*Overwhelming need to clean the fingernail on the left and give the poor guy some cuticle oil*…

Best. Scrabble. Ad. Ever.

Loves me some Scrabble. Although I think I was entirely too sober to watch this commercial. Forget the happy family sitting around the table on Game Night. I’m pretty sure this commerical would lead you to believe you need to be tripping in some capacity to play the game and have that much fun. And maybe…you do.

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French AdventureBut I want a ROMANIAN adventure in France!…? Or perhaps Italian…